"Where it all began:The origin of our Disorders"

David Allen Brown

Who I am: Who am I?

Christian Writer

"Where it all began: The origin of our Disorders"

How did all of this get started? Does your life feel like it’s just one huge mess right about now. Addictions, obsessions, alcoholism, drugs, fights, yelling, screaming, guilt, fear, self esteem issues, blah, blah, blah. How did all of this get started? How did we get to be this way? I don’t remember anybody pushing me into having insecurities or issues. Maybe it’s in my genes huh?It’s most certainly all min my head.


Maybe when I was very young the doctor gave me a pill or a shot of something and I had an allergic reaction to it? How’d I get so small anyway? My Dad was 6’1 and Mom is 5’5” so why did I look like a runaway character from the “Wizard of Oz” when I was in grammar school?(I'm 5'9" now,lol) Is this something I couldn't’t help? Did I wake up one morning like this because of genetics or did something else start the ball to rolling?


Actually, it’s a piece of this and a piece of that all thrown into a blender. That’s how we become who we are. A little bit, of a lot of different things. It was "we" that let it get started in the first place and it’s going to be up to us if it’s ever going to come to an end. The negative aspects of our personality that is.


Granted we probably didn’t possess the maturity to do anything about it when it started but if we still don’t (assuming you are at least 16 years old) then we need to get to work on that now. We aren’t so different from anybody else .Some of us were raised in pure chaos while others of us were raised like “Ozzie and Harriet” or “Leave it to Beaver”. Most of us were raised somewhere in the middle of chaos and the beaver and that’s what makes it so confusing.


One day we hear the right thing to do in a given situation from our parents. The next day we see that Mom or Dad don’t always do exactly what they tell us is the right thing to do. We learn that our parents are imperfect and fallible just like the rest of the world and that's confusing because we always thought they did everything just the way they were suppose to. So why did they do that?


I was raised in a great home. God was in the house. The Bible was used to direct our paths and I was raised to say “yes m’am” and “no sir’ to everyone no matter how young or how old they were. I was a pretty happy kid most of the time.


I wasn’t walking around angry at my parents or afraid or obsessed with things like success. I wasn’t afraid of failure either. I made a million dollars by age 37 but then I was shortsighted (dumb) enough to let it go all the way back down to zero again.


Maybe I was’nt afraid of being a success. Maybe I was afraid of staying a success? Maybe, I thought, I didn’t deserve to stay a success because I didn’t deserve to have wealth. Who knows? I had guilt issues growing up. Maybe I thought that I did’nt deserve to have money or the false trappings that money brings. Maybe...just maybe it was just bad luck. Maybe there is no issue at all. The question is...how do we know.?


Well, here I am, writing about addictions, obsessions and 25 or so other issues that anyone of us could face no matter how we were raised. From the day I was first deposited here, someone was watching over my growth and maturity. They were winging it according to their own less than perfect upbringing.

With every mistake in my upbringing, I picked up a new possible issue or hangup as we might call them. ( If we are raised on guilt, we suffer from guilt issues as we grow into adults) duh!


Most Moms and Dads do their best but since we don’t come with instruction manuals, they are just raising us the way that their parents raised them…flaws and all. . Hopefully, our parents are aware that there is a “Universal” instruction book that makes our chances of growing up well adjusted, that much better. Just because someone reads their Bible and knows what’s in it, is no guarantee that Mom and Dad will apply it’s laws/rules/commands to our upbringing. I would hope so. I’ve seen people who were raised with and without the influence of Gods word and overall the God filled person is usually the less confused on of the two. Not always, but most of the time.

The only time they aren’t is usually when the parent ends up preaching about religion being the answer to everything as opposed to Gods love being the answer. They preach that God is an all powerful ruler hovering over us ready to jump us the second we do something wrong. God is not like that but unfortunately some people see him that way.
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